My mum and I went to Greece in the summer of 2011. It was one of the most enchanting, unique places in the world. While we were paying in a gift shop in Santorini, the shop owner was conversing with us. I still remember he said, “This morning my female friend and I were laying in the sand at Red Beach, looking at the sky and the sparkling ocean and we were just thinking about how lucky we are to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth.” It just makes me happy seeing other peoples’ joy and gratification for all that they possess. It’s amazing remembering all the people you encounter on all the edges of this planet. We all live so very different lives, but are all so similar inside. Oh, the places you go and people you meet.
Today I heard news that a boy passed away. I have never even met this person and I don’t know why, but I became really emotional upon hearing the news and watching a video commemorating him. It made me realize how short life really is. You never know when it will be your time to join Him. It could happen any moment, whether you are ready or not. I feel rather odd saying this, but I have become motivated to do something; make a mark on people’s lives, and be remembered for all the right reasons. To not take anyone for granted, ever. Shallow things are just not worth it, little arguments that aren’t worth the fight; better to live without them. Be happy, be free. Enjoy the little things; every breath, every laugh, every smile, the warm sunshine, the cool breeze, the sweet aroma of the outdoors; they make life full and extraordinary. Time goes by so fast, and if you don’t feel each moment, they just slip by. But, NEVER take anyone for granted, ever. You never know if that is going to be your last conversation with them. Death. It’s so sad, but so peaceful. The idea of it makes me tear-eyed; knowing that they are gone forever, but they are rested and in a better place. Rest in peace.
I don’t even know where to begin. Love. I love you. I don’t even think I know the meaning of those words anymore. It’s a two-man effort, when one stops paddling, the other becomes tired, bored, and just worn out. In the beginning, I could literally feel happiness when I saw your name, when I saw your smile, when we spoke. I wish I could hold on to that same feeling again. I couldn’t stop smiling when I talked to you; it was like you were the only thing that mattered to me. I still remember that night when you chose to talk to me instead of watching the Euro 2012 finals. I thought about how lucky I was to have the sweetest person on Earth. And another day, you told me about a dream you had, where in it, we were married. :) We used to talk for hours and hours each day. I wish everything was the way it was in the beginning. Love truly is a test of time. It should last forever. This was exactly what I was afraid of: us getting tired of one another, taking each other for granted. With each passing day, I have come to a realization that we are all words; all talk, little action. “I love you always. You are my everything.” Truth is, I don’t feel like your “everything” anymore. But, I don’t blame you. We are just young, and innocent. I believe we use the phrase “I love you” without really grasping it’s meaning, but longing to feel that way. The mind is deceiving, and the heart is gullible. I want to love you with all my heart, I really do. I try so hard to make it work, even from thousands of miles away, but it’s just so difficult. I care about you, a lot. I want you to become successful and fulfill all your dreams, and I want to stand right beside you every step of the way. But, that is our special fantasy. In reality, I don’t believe our feelings are as strong as we think they are. Honestly, when we talk to each other now, I know we don’t give each other out full attention anymore; we cease to fully captivate one another… We are young, and being with someone shouldn’t be this difficult. As much as I know we’d like it to be, this isn’t that perfect relationship. I can’t hold you, or kiss you, or spend all of my time with you, or even communicate easily. I know those things are kind of shallow, but they are normal desires that we both should experience with the person we care about the most. I don’t want to lose you. I know I will miss you too much, and I don’t know what I’d do. But, at the same time, I don’t want you to be tied down to me, and miss out on life. Life has a way of putting the puzzle pieces together and straightening out all the complications. I believe we will meet one day, and I will never lose hope. When we are older, wiser, and when the time is right, you will be mine again. I will never, ever forget you E— and all the moments we shared; I promise. Please move on, and chase your dreams, but I hope I will also be somewhere in the back of your mind. Never forget us and all we used to be. I don’t know if I touched your life, but you definitely impacted my life. You are an amazing person. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I am not saying goodbye forever. It’s more like, see you later, my good friend.
our song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyggTKDcOE
I wish that I can open my eyes and live in the paradise that I dream of. Where I will be with you, always and forever, and there are no boundaries separating us.
It’s a Texas thing you might not understand.